Movies - The Stoned Age

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	Movies - The Stoned Age

The Stöned Age (also known as 'Tack's Chicks') is a 1994 American movie directed by James Melkonian.

This movie opens with a crawl, somewhat like Star Wars, the crawl says:

:Once upon a time

:In a land called Suburbia

:there lived a noble breed of men.

:Men who spent their lives

:on a never-ending quest

:for Honor...

:Glory...

:and Fine Chicks...

That pretty much sums up this stoner film set during the 1970s; featuring the longhaired stoner Michael Hubbs, and his sidekick Joe Connolly, who spend the night cruising around looking for some "fine chicks".

They end up hearing about a "shitload of chicks" down by "that Frankie Avalon place" so they go there for a crazy night of partying and almost get their asses kicked in the process.

Plot summary

Hubbs and Connelly are out driving around in Hubbs' car "The Blue Torpedo", looking for girls when they pass a guy named Tack, who they think is a total loser. After Joe spits a loogey at him (at the urging of Hubbs), Tack yells out "I got some chicks!", so Hubbs backs up and they let Tack get into the car. Tack tells them he has a "shitload" of fine chicks staying near "that Frankie Avalon place."

After going to pay for gas and cigarrettes, Hubbs and Connolly talk to the clerk, a guy named Crump, who tells him about two "radical chicks" his brother has up in Torrance Beach (who are also) near "that Frankie Avalon place."

They lie to Crump and tell him that this girl named Desiree Gibson (whom Crump's psychotic brother "digs") is doing amateur night at Dirty Doug's Strip Club.

They end up telling Tack to get out and wash their windows and then leave him at the gas station after finding out 'Tack's chicks' are really 'Crump's brother's chicks'.

Hubbs and Joe arrive at the chicks' house, and find out there's only two of them. And only one of the chicks; a girl named Lanie (who looks "just like that chick from the Virgin Killer album") is actually "fine". Lanie won't let them in to party unless they bring some 151.

So Hubbs and Joe head to Liquor World, sneak a bottle of 151 past the crazy disco guy clerk (and two inept Barney Fife-ish cops), and return to the chick's house. Tack later ends up arriving with his nerdy friend "Snot-Rag" and almost costs Hubbs and Joe to lose the chicks by taking them to a party in Palos Verdes.

After getting the girls back home, Hubbs and Laney end up having sex while Joe is stuck talking to her much less attractive friend, Jill.

Joe and Jill go for a walk, and when they return find Tack and a gang of horny guys carrying cases of Ox 45 they stole from a warehouse outside Jill's house. Tack calls Jill a fat-ass and the guys all beat up Joe. Jill helps Joe get back into the house and then Crump's brother shows up.

Crump's brother beats down all of the guys outside, then tries to get inside the house, Joe and Hubbs are able to keep him out for awhile. But just when it looks like he is about to get inside, Jill's father Warren (played by David Groh) shows up and beats the crap out of him. Hubbs and Joe try to get out of the house before Warren has them arrested, but only Hubbs is able to escape at first. Warren calls the cops and Joe finally escapes (after hearing a lecture about "all that heavy metal music"). Joe sneaks a kiss from Jill, and asks her last name so he'll call her afterwards, which might never happen since her name is Wajakawakawitz.

Trivia

The producers initially titled it Tack's Chicks and then Teenage Wasteland, before settling on The Stöned Age.

In the original script, Joe Connolly was going to be a big fan of The Who; but due to legalities, Blue Öyster Cult was used instead.

Originally the script called for the guys to drink Colt 45. However, the Colt 45 company refused to allow it because they don't endorse under-age drinking. So the producers made up the brand Ox 45, and used it instead.

William Shatner
was going to make a cameo instead of Frankie Avalon
, but that was changed for unknown reasons. Also, if Shatner would've done it, the place near the "chick's house" would've been called "that William Shatner
place".

At the end of the movie, Eric Bloom and Donald "Buck Dharma" Roeser of Blue Öyster Cult are seen selling bootleg t-shirts in front of a store.

[ Visit the complete Wikipedia entry for The Stoned Age ]

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